Takes a certain amount of better fitness to maintain and sustain balance to and thru transitions. Patience and fitness are your friends here. Check teeth and saddle fit. If all go there, consider a trainour, or someone, that can translate and cue from the ground what you are doing, what you strive to do, and is what actually going on.
Mare will come to the bit when hind end is driven thru to it and can carry her forward into your hand. Again, fitness. All the gadgets in the world have such limited use when it is fitness, or lack thereof, that is the bottom line.
Sure there's right and wrong but mostly there's just a whole lotta different.