Hi again JoeJoe. I did read your post, but only the first two. I don’t have time to read 85 posts. Re-read your first and second posts. They are the ones I replyed to.
If it’s any comfort, I’m 68 and I plan to ride and show for another 10 years at least. I see you’re not 60 yet so unless you have health issues you have time to learn and make progress.
Taking the freshness off the horse can work, but “training” works better. Your horse has learned he or she can run through you in the show ring. It’s sounds as if you think he wants to win the “race” he thinks he’s in when all he’s doing is what he’s allowed to do, not because you aren’t a good rider, but because he’s just being a horse.
Horses take control when they can. It’s their nature. The breed and temperament contribute to this too. No one replying to you can see what’s actually going on but only as you’re able to explain it so advice can’t be specific to your or your horse’s needs.
I understand your limited in your training resources, but maybe you can contact a trainer who will come to you. Or maybe send a video to him or her and get feedback or maybe inspire interest in your situation. Or go to a clinic. Last but not least, at the next “race”, aka show, ask the judge for help or advice. Tell her you would love to see if a professional can ride your horse in the show environment and keep him in the appropriate speed and tempo.
You know you need help. We know you’re asking for it. You also know there’s no “magic bullet” much as we’d all like one now and then. LOL You have some things to try offered on this forum. I feel confident that you will make trying them an adventure that includes the joy of riding and your love of horses. Best wishes from an old rider!