"Well intentioned" advice needed

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  OffTrack 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • OffTrack Original Poster
    Topics Started: 1Replies Posted: 5

    I’m hoping for a little advice on how to handle being “told” about my horses from people who don’t know. We have 2 OTTB – a 5 year old & a 20 year old. Both are hard keepers, but are in good health. The 20yo can give the 5yo a run for her money … for hours 🙂 My problem is that despite having been checked by the vet on a semi-regular basis, and declared to be in good health, I am constantly being told my horses are too thin, they need “x” supplement, they need to not be shown, they need one of another 100 things. My vet says they are a high 4 on the Henneke scale, but a very fit 4 with good muscling & appropriate amounts of fat for their body type. Yes, they have a hint of rib showing. They also have serious muscling in their chest & butt. Seems everything I try just makes the advice giver madder. Even “My vet has assured me they are healthy & fine”. I think everyone is so used to seeing overweight horses these days that fit horses are seen as unhealthy. Any suggestions on dealing with “fit shamers”?

    pheets pheets
    Topics Started: 5Replies Posted: 477

    Too many folks don’t know the difference between ‘fit’ and ‘thin’. Smile and nod, say thank you and ride on. YOU know they are fine, the VET knows they are fine, smile, nod, ride on. Life is too short.

    Sure there's right and wrong but mostly there's just a whole lotta different.

    OffTrack Original Poster
    Topics Started: 1Replies Posted: 5

    Thank you. I do try, very hard, but even the assistant coach of my daughter’s equestrian team went off on us about her horse’s weight a couple of weeks ago. Vey difficult when we are surrounded by heavy stock horses & their owners.

    pheets pheets
    Topics Started: 5Replies Posted: 477

    I know it’s hard, I really do, been there, and I am not unsympathetic, ‘specially where your daughter is involved. As much as it IS hard, tho, keep smiling and nodding, be really irrritatingly polite. Nothing more of an irritant than when someone wants to be cranky and thinks they are right than for the other party to not react. No war if only one side ; ) A flat affect generates non engagement after a while. Hang in there, rise above, go home with your daughter and vent, have some chocolate and a laugh over how you KNOW the assistant coach has her panties up to her armpits by now, whatever it takes to vent in a constructive way. Probably far from sound advice, I was a bully when I was a little kid, tho the point is make humour of it if you can. Also, have the assistant coach speak to the vet personally/directly. Look her in the eye and tell her calmly that you “are in communication with the vet, here’s their number, and will follow their advice for now, thank you, please leave the subject alone for now.” Good luck, OffTrack, people kinda …are ugly .. sometimes, no getting around it. Love your horses, give’em an extra cookie just cos : )

    Sure there's right and wrong but mostly there's just a whole lotta different.

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